that ol'-fashioned religion

Sage comes rushing into our bedroom, waving a booklet tied together with yarn.

SAGE: Dad! Dad! Look at this!

ME: What is it?

SAGE: It's a bible.

ME: A bible?

SAGE: Yes, God gave it to me.

ME: He did?

SAGE (nods quickly): Yes.

ME: As in he handed it to you?

SAGE: He did.

ME: And what did God look like?

SAGE: He has a bigote and beard like you.

ME: And this was in Sunday School? It wasn't your teacher?

SAGE: No, Dad. It was God.

ME: Well, that's wonderful then. Not many people get to see God, you know.

SAGE: Why?

ME: Because He's not easy to see. But there are paintings and stuff, of Him. But no one really knows.

SAGE: Why?

ME: Well, because if you were to look straight at God... Let's just say He's very powerful and shines a lot, so no one can look at him directly.

SAGE: I did. And he gave me this.

ME: That's true. But most of the time He's invisible.

SAGE: That's his superpower?

ME: One of many superpowers.

SAGE: Where does He live?

ME: In heaven.

SAGE: Why?

ME: Because that's His home. And all the good people live there with Him.

SAGE: Why?

ME: Because when good people die, they go to Heaven to be with God. Because He loves them. And everyone there is happy to be with each other, and with God.

SAGE: Why?

ME: Well, because people want to be happy.

SAGE: So God lives in the sky?

ME: Yes.

SAGE: And we live on Earth, our planet.

ME: Right.

SAGE: So let's pretend I'm dead and I'm going to Heaven and you're God because you have a bigote and a beard.

ME: Okay.

SAGE (looks downcast): I'm sad.

ME (as GOD): But why are you sad? Heaven is a happy place.

SAGE: Because I miss my Mom and Dad.

ME: Well, they'll be here...um... when they die.

SAGE (in tears): But I don't want them to die.

ME: But you'll all be together and be happy.

SAGE: But we're dead.

ME: True, but-

SAGE: And so I'm sad.

ME: ...but Heaven is a happy place.

(beat)

SAGE (brightly): Do you know I can get here on an airplane? And if you're invisible, why can I see you?